The New Bubble Girl (banyangirl1832) wrote,
The New Bubble Girl
banyangirl1832

LJI: Bupkis

Even deep beneath the water, I can still taste the red wine on my tongue. It doesn’t entirely matter what varietal it is; it’s something deep and dark and plummy, something in which you can taste the soil and sun. In here, I open my eyes and can see the blurry, shifting world above me, sunlight dancing across my yellow bathroom’s tin ceiling. I’ve decided in some small capacity of my brain to just let myself lie here until my eyes close for good. No blood. No scattered shards of glass. Just me, the water layered over my body, and the half empty bottle of wine sitting on the table beside me. The pain killers I swiped from my father’s medicine cabinet are helping the screaming part of my brain shut up, too. The table is cluttered with soaps and various pots of makeup, things I used in life to cover myself up, to try and meet a standard I never quite reached. It was all just too much work. Now I’m completely naked, vulnerable, with nothing but my heartbeat in my ears. No diamonds. It’s so peaceful here, under the water. There’s a slight burn in my lungs, but the alcohol serves to keep that at bay quite nicely. Its like I can hear the universe humming, soft green things coming alive beneath my feet. I wonder who will find me, and what will happen to that bottle of red wine. Maybe they have cream puffs in heaven, I think. I always loved cream puffs. I used to tell myself, stay alive for the cream puffs, for the pure white rush of virginal sweetness in my mouth, the crisp crack of the dough against my teeth. “They’re the most transcendent food,” my mother used to tell me. Somehow along the way they stopped being able lift me up, no matter how many I ate. That’s why it’s me and wine tonight, because I knew that they’d just be an airy disappointment. Maybe the angels have angel food cake and it’s soaked in honey and ambrosia, and maybe they have the best prime rib this side of Damascus. One can only hope.
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  • 13 comments

  • Sticky Fingers

    I was just on the verge of coming out of sleep, just barely hearing the plinking of rain against the windows, when I heard the bedroom door open and…

  • SCI: Echo Chamber

    "In Your Dreams" It's the same as always, but it's a little different this time. You're taken by the hand and marched down a long hallway, the…

  • Kneading Instructions

    Be gentle. Let the dough slide through your hands. Let your hands be grease-marked and slippery Fish, gliding. Punch the dough down, not too…